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Enjoying the View from a Ten​-​Story Apartment Balcony

by lestwefall

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1.
I've begun to forgive myself Even though you don't forgive me yet That's alright Forgiveness isn't easy Steal my heart, rip it apart Cut my wrists just to feel it hurt Let me die, let me rot I'm just a replacement for what you've lost I know you've had better So why am I around Is this your idea of friendship Or were you just getting bored Where's my sorry for all this shit Where's perfection, it doesn't exist I could have been better than this So what if I kill myself Fuck this planet anyway There is something beautiful In freedom for eternity Bodies colliding with no end in sight Darkness, black, from whence I came Die like a man so I can forget your face Yesterday I stayed inside myself, I loved it Why can't you love me the way that I love you I know that you hate it, just tell me that you do I've been waiting for a reason otherwise I know you've had better So why am I around Is this your idea of friendship Or were you just getting bored Where's my sorry for all this shit Where's perfection, it doesn't exist I could have been better than this
2.
You can hate me anywho It's my fault for telling you Some things that weren't true I just wasn't being myself Promise all is good and well It's our secret, please don't tell I drag my skin across the blade To say how sorry I am But I don't regret a single thing Besides regretting everything The look in your eyes says it all Maybe I lied but so did you And I know better now And I know better now And I know better Better Better
3.
You are worth nothing now Might as well kill yourself You are worth nothing now Might as well kill yourself Undervalued, I won't be confined Your words won't break me, I'm redefined With raging fire I will break these chains I'll prove you wrong and embrace my pain Life's a fucking race against time No second chances, no rewind Like a flame burning bright, destined to fade We're all just puppets in this twisted charade (You are worth nothing now Might as well kill yourself You are worth nothing now Might as well kill yourself) Undervalued, I won't be confined Your words won't break me, I'm redefined With raging fire I will break these chains I'll prove you wrong and embrace my pain Life's too short to drown in sorrow I'll rage against the dying light I'll rage against the dying light
4.
Living in shadows, I'm on the run Hiding from the world, under the sun Society's chains, they weigh me down But I won't conform, won't wear that crown Cut it out I know why you've been hiding yourself Once again The world is much too treacherous, dangerous They label me an outcast, a rebel without a cause But I won't be silenced, I won't pause Escaping the clutches of their conformity I'll forge my own path, wild and free Cut it out I know why you've been hiding yourself Once again The world is much too treacherous, dangerous 'Till the day I die [x8} In the depths of the city's decay Among the shadows, I find my way A fugitive from their judgment and lies In this underground where other spirits fly Hiding from society's blinded gaze In the chaos, I dwell where silence plays The machine of conformity grinds away But I won't surrender, I won't obey In the anarchy of my mind's terrain I'll resist their chains, embrace the pain Hiding from society's blinded gaze In the chaos, I dwell where silence plays
5.
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Insects 02:28
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10.
Lullaby 02:04
11.
Pouring shots like rain, we drown the pain A drink or two, just to feel the same It's a toxic dance we can't break free Chasing highs, it's our misery Lost in the haze, we're blind to the cost Liquid escape, it's all we've lost Broken dreams, shattered glass The grip of alcohol, it holds us fast We toast to destruction, it's all we know Ignoring the damage, we continue to sow Bottled demons, they're taking control Fading into the night, losing our soul Lost in the haze, we're blind to the cost Liquid escape, it's all we've lost We're tempting Fate by moving towards the grain Turning to drink to solve our problems So raise your glass, one last time To the emptiness, to the decline In this liquid prison, we're trapped, you see Drinking our lives away, we'll never be free So raise your glass, one last time Ignoring the truth, we're living a lie
12.
One day, they'll see the stage I've won The passion, the fame, the battles I've done I'll prove my worth, no matter the fight This is my calling, my guiding light I strummed my dreams on strings, took flight With every note, I'd reach new heights They turn a blind eye, they just don't care Ignoring the passion that I bear I'm screaming inside, but they won't hear This is my world, it's crystal clear But the family, they just can't see The fire in my soul, the melody in me They turn a blind eye, they just don't care Ignoring the passion that I bear I'll play my songs on empty streets To prove to them this dream's no deceit Their disapproval, a heavy weight to bear But I'll carry on, no need to debate what is fair Their disapproval, a heavy weight to bear But I'll carry on, no need to debate what is fair The semantics of the issue are a little complicated And I'd feel castrated without the words I'm putting down on paper And I am fueled by how much I hate her I chased my dreams, took risks unknown, Yet family's support, I've never known Their lack of belief, it cuts so deep But I'll play my heart out, even as they sleep on me When they scorn I'll stand my ground Their judgments won't define my fate I'll make my mark, they'll see it's not too late I'm breaking chains, they try to confine Their closed minds can't hold this heart of mine I'll play my songs on empty streets To prove to them this dream's no deceit How can I make a dime, I'm living free If only you could see me now Their disapproval, a heavy weight to bear But I'll carry on, no need to debate what is fair Their disapproval, a heavy weight to bear But I'll carry on, no need to debate what is fair So long and thanks

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released August 12, 2023

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lestwefall Freeburg, Illinois

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